Google U

One of Kai's classroom aides is the mother of an adult with PDD-NOS. She recently commented that she was glad there was no internet when her child was diagnosed because she would have "gone crazy" obsessing over all the information available. I have to say that I can see her point.

I spend a lot of time at the computer researching autism...stories, therapies, education, IEP processes, biomed, schools, laws...the list goes on. Sometimes the internet is a wonderful tool, enabling me to find things I would otherwise never hear about. I am up to date on the latest genetic science. I am able to connect with other people whose stories I can relate to so that I don't feel so lost and alone. I can find out what my rights are before I have to make decisions about Kai's education. The list goes on and on.

But, other times the internet makes me feel angy and inadequate. There are sooooo many therapies available that I cannot provide to my child. There are a myriad of biomedical measures that I might like to try, if only my insurance would cover them, which, of course, it won't. There are centers to help with auditory processing and sensory integration, workshops on educational techniques, conferences and symposiums, all offering things that would very likely be helpful to my son, but not in the budget.

There are stories of amazing recoveries that make me feel like I am failing my son because I have not been able to achieve the same results. There are stories of children whose lives are much harder than Kai's that break my heart and make me feel grateful that our struggles seem mild in comparison. There are posts by adult autistics who seem so angry at their parents and the establishment for the techniques used to treat them, leaving me with an overwhelming fear that Kai will feel the same way if I make the wrong choices.

For every positive thing that the information age provides, there is a negative. I am glad that I have access to all the compiled knowledge of the age and all the opinions of autistics, parents of children with autism, and experts, but sometimes it seems as if I am drowning in a sea of possibilities. If someone could just toss me a life preserver, I'd be much obliged.

Kristie